Liars Club

In Honor of NaNaWri Month. You Are A Writer. You Know You Are.

by Simmons on November 15, 2011

in Advice for Writers,The Writing Life,The Writing Process

Being a writer has nothing to do with being published. Or wearing glasses. Or having a nice author photo that looks younger than you are.

You know you’re really a writer when . . .

1. Your clothes are not easily distinguished from your pajamas.

2. Your friends ask for help writing their wedding vows, their resumes, and their Netflix complaint letters.

3. On vacation, you walk into a hotel with a beautiful view and think, “ooh I can’t wait to write here!”

4. Your laptop is worth more than all your furniture combined.

5. Your primary criteria for viewing real estate is:  Where will my desk go?

6. You spend more money on books than clothes.

7. You have paid a babysitter to take your children out for the night.

8. Your idea of a spa is Breadloaf.

9. You refuse to share your bookshelves.

10. When you take your child on college visits, the only thing that excites you is the library.

11. When people ask you what you want for Christmas, you say “an agent.”

12. When your kids have puppet shows, you urge them to work on their dialogue a little harder.

13. You have a backup to your backup to your backup.

14. Your children have never said “Sssh, Mommy’s sleeping,”  but “Sssh, Mommy’s writing.”

15. You have written a tender and compassionate acknowledgments page for each unpublished work.

16. You have had paper cuts on your palm, not just your finger.

17.  The idea of going to jail just . . .  does not seem that bad to you.

That’s my list  . . .and I hope you will share yours!

Kelly Simmons is the author of THE BIRD HOUSE and STANDING STILL, both from Simon & Schuster.  Learn more at her website,, or follow her on Twitter: @kellysimmons.


{ 2 comments… read them below or add one }

Grace November 23, 2011 at 3:09 pm

I’ve seen a like this for gardening, another of my pursuits, er addictions. I love this writing list! A little twist on number 3. Hotel with a beautiful view, I’m already describing it in prose–in my head. Number 11–or even a publisher! 🙂 And one of my own: The sofa has a permanent sag that is exactly the proportions of my butt to mark my laptop spot.

Wayne A. "Tony" Conaway November 29, 2011 at 7:53 pm

Re: #6 Wait a minute…you mean there are people who spend more on CLOTHES than on BOOKS? What’s wrong with these people?!

In my case, it would be “You spend more on books than on your CAR!”

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